Expression

Setting the right tone for your readers is vital, because it establishes the relationship you have with them. That in turn influences the outcomes you will achieve. The more formal the tone, the more barriers you place between you and your readers. A less formal tone will be more conversational.

Of course, there will always be cases where a more formal tone is appropriate.  You should vary the tone depending on the context rather than use a single approach. The Plain English Foundation tone scale can help you consider the right level. 

We recommend you aim for:

• tone 3 if you’re writing for a public audience, such as on a website
• tone 3 to 4 for an internal audience, even in complex or technical documents.

A lot of public language is written at level 5, often in the belief that a formal tone is needed to 'sound professional' or to capture complex content. But this is seldom the case. If you write in an overly formal style, you will only worsen readability, clarity and efficiency – and that makes it less likely readers will understand your content.

Which of these 2 versions would you prefer? Does the more formal one really say anything extra?

English has a rich vocabulary, so for many concepts there is more than one word you might choose. The temptation is to use the longest alternative because it will sound ‘more impressive’. But if you choose too many unnecessary long words, you only make it harder to get your message across.

The best approach is to choose the most precise words for each concept, whether they are short or long. But when a shorter alternative does the job, use it. That will strike the right balance between precision, clarity and readability. 

Here are 4 principles to consider when choosing shorter words.

Focus on simplifying non-technical words such as the above examples.  If your reader is familiar with technical terms, you can still include them. But if some of your readers are not familiar with a technical concept, you might need to include it and then explain it.  

Take the following passage, which uses overly complex words to promote a scholarship:

You could easily simplify some of these words without losing content, leaving the longer words that don't have a simpler alternative:

Just as too many long words will worsen readability, too many long sentences will slow down reading and reduce clarity. As a general rule, keep sentences:

• between 15 and 20 words on average
• no longer than 35 words each.
  

Also try to vary the length of sentences to give the writing more punch. Some content will require a longer sentence, which you can follow with a shorter one. If all the sentences are the same size, the prose becomes flat and dull to read.

Sentences above 35 words should generally be presented in bullet lists.

Read the 65 word sentence below and consider where you might break it up:

2.  Hidden verbs

The second verb problem that can worsen expression is the hidden verb or nominalisation.

This is where you 'hide' the main action in a noun (nominal) and add a second, redundant verb. This weighs writing down with needless verbiage and forces the reader to puzzle out the real action.

3.  Verbal nouns

Finally, try to limit the use of verbal nouns such as infinitives (‘to be’, ‘to do’ and so on) and gerunds (‘ing’ form). These are verbs that become the object of another verb.

Verbal nouns are useful where the action in a sentence has 2 parts to it. But they will reduce the clarity in a sentence if you use them too often. See how active verbs sharpen the following sentences.

Putting it together

Poor writing often combines a number of these non-active verb forms. The cumulative effect can be mind-numbing: 

All the expression principles we've looked at in this section improve the efficiency of a text. The simpler and more active a text is, the shorter it will generally be.

But it is also possible to write in an active and readable style that is still inefficient. There are 3 main types of clutter you can eliminate to tighten your text:

• wordy phrases
• repetition
• unnecessary detail.

The most common wordy phrases use several words for a functional task that a single conjunction or preposition could handle:

Repetition often creeps in when you restate a longer noun phrase across several sentences. 

Unnecessary detail is easy to miss because we can convince ourselves that readers need every sub-point or qualification about a topic.  

Notice how much more efficient a text becomes when you remove all 3 types of clutter.